First Chemo Reaction

Well, after talking to my best friend Kim in AZ she encouraged me to be honest on the last week and put here in the blog. She said this is a place for me to vent (which it is) and also where all of you learn of the process and what Tommy is really going through. Thanks for that pep talk Kim! I warn you now, this will be a LONG entry because it's all been bottled up for nearly a week now.

The pictures of Tommy here are within minutes and only a few hours of his first injection. From there it went down hill drastically! Tommy did get severely sick from the treatment -- his DR's were rather surprised as nobody thought it would hit him that hard. Truth be told, this is one of the healthiest kids -- only once in his life has he had antibiotics, so he's nearly all natural and then he get pumped with these toxic drugs -- oh it seems SO mean!

It was painful to hear him ask "Nurse, what are you doing?", "Nurse, I don't like that!" and Finlay to only a few words where he said "no more". He spent all night throwing up and when he was able to pass out afterwards, which is what he'd basically do, his little body was so stressed out that his vitals kept tripping the alarm on the unit that was monitoring him and the nurses kept coming in to check.

We got home Tuesday night and since then Tommy has thrown up every day. He's had very low energy -- often tells us he's "too tired and needs a break". He's been so tired at times he's cried to have us carry him upstairs because he's too tired to walk up them. In the last 24 hours he has had leg, arm and head pain. Some kids get really bad bone pain and Tommy is one of them. We called the DR yesterday about all of this and he said that the weekend should be good, but next week he'll slip back again as his white cells will fall again. We give him a shot every day to help build his system back up -- he HATES them to say the least. It takes us both to give them. Every night he has woken up and crawled in to our bed because he hurts and isn't feeling good. We've been as close as .04 on his temp to needing to be at the hospital again. It's been rough!

I was glad Daryl was at home with Maggie. First of all, this would of been overwhelming for Daryl -- although I cannot shield him forever and Tommy and I will need him there for the next treatment which is for FIVE days! YES! We spend the entire time in the hospital. I could not do this for five days without any rest -- you don't sleep when you child is this sick! You want to help and comfort him, and when he passes out you watch him till the next episode and meanwhile you have some reaching out to God, sometimes begging and pleading for help and other times you are mad as hell telling Him you're not happy with Him.

To be honest, we are going to need help from everyone who can offer some time from their schedules when we deal with five day treatments. Auntie Grace and Cocoa Craig (neighbors which have become our extended family over the last seven years) are taking three days off from work when we go for his five day treatment to help us with whatever we need.

For those afar and who have expressed interest in visiting, Daryl and I both agree we need you here to help on our five day treatments but please don't schedule a visit right before or afterwards -- it's just not what's going to support us. In fact, we both feel it will stress out to have guests here in what "down times" we get, and we can only have one guest at a time. The other restriction is that you must be healthy or we cannot have you in the house. Tommy is not allowed to be around anyone, not even if it's just a cold.

My sister wanted to be here for the 4th of July and was planning it before we knew of Tommy's cancer, but his five day treatment is the week after the 4th, so we've asked her to switch her vacation time. Grandparents want to be here for his 4th b-day (July 30), they too have been asked to come the week before to help for the five day treatment.

How is Maggie with all of this many of you ask. And we thank you for asking about Maggie, although Tommy is the one with cancer, Maggie too suffers from this horrible time! She's a smart 18 month old and is aware of EVERYTHING but understands none of it. She's having separation anxioty from her mommy -- I cannot leave more than three feet without her rushing for me. She has never been a challenge to put to bed, now we have to lay with her, rock her and she has to have my shirt. Even at daycare she won't take a nap because she notices Tommy isn't there with her. It's rough on her too!

We had what seemed to be the best offer from family, whom I love so dearly! Both sisters have offered to take Maggie for however long we wanted - the entire time of treatment or whatever! AND my sister's mother-in-law offered to babysit Maggie everyday for FREE while she watches our cousin Ella (she's only 6 months older and they look exactly alike). It seemed to be perfect, family would watch her, she'd be in a routine, free daycare, no wild shift or changes -- good, because Maggie hates changes and hates strangers -- doesn't like men at all talking to her. Although this is family, they are strangers because we never see them. But we were figuring I could take her down, she's got a close bond with my parents and knows them which would help. We thought maybe she'd live with them and Pam would babysit and the rest of the family could relief on weekends. We were almost feeling good with the idea, but as many of you know, I'm big in the mind world and wanted to be sure it was in the best interest of the KIDS to do this.

Part of our team of DR's includes our own physc DR who helps all of us. She specializes in children and after talking to her, what seemed like the best thing to do is the worst thing to do. Both children would possibly suffer life time effects of sending Maggie away -- that's all I needed to hear to realize NOPE it will NEVER happen! We'll just let people know we need them here to help. I will not allow this cancer to cause any more hurt than it has.

August, our daycare closes for the entire month. I've asked my parents to come up for the five day treatment and my friend Kim to come up. Anyone else who has time in August, we'd love to have you. I might see if Savanna is available and hire her for the month to help out. She's a wonderful young girl who has sat for us in the past and the kids adore her.

Many have wondered if I'll continue to work -- we know you wonder how could we possibly live our lifestyle so far from family and deal with all of this and work. Makes sense that you'd wonder, but life must be kept as normal as possible. Yes, I'm working and I am VERY busy with three active listings, two active buyers and a possible 4th listing on the horizon -- and the magazine I publish. I have become the Super High Tech Diva Mom, my office is FULLY remote now with all the gadgets to keep me running but still couldn't do it without my broker, the staff and ALL the agents in my office. They well support me and my clients and it's going very well. Daryl likes to look at homes too, so this has been good for him t00 - he's able to work with me and keep his mind busy too. In fact, Daryl, Tommy and I have been previewing homes the last couple of days and have had a fun time bonding and didn't have to think of cancer all day long.

We'll be at the Dr on Tuesday and Friday this week and we'll update you with any new updates. I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but we are going to go to Children's in Seattle for Tommy's surgery. We're very pleased with that and will be keeping our chemo treatment at MAMC which also makes us happy. Enjoy your weekend, family and life! <><