Blessed or Cursed

We don't know, are we blessed or cursed?!?!? We thought we had it all -- we are each others soul mates, we have the careers we've always wanted, we lived the newlywed life for nearly a decade before we had our first child, it was a son! Great, we now have our boy with the family jewels to carry on the name sake (this was really important to Daryl), and then we have a beautiful daughter -- the perfect family, one of each. We can offer our children a lifestyle of comfort and meet their wants and needs and offer them the opportunity to be raised in a loving Catholic home -- just like I was and that is important to me. Daryl and I come from two loving families with two different religion up bringings praying to the same God. Now we have our own foundation with our own family in our own home -- where's the picket fence? Funny, me a religious and catholic girl (heck, I went to a Catholic school for nearly half of my life, have taught CCD or RICA classes) am now mad and angry and Him. It hurts me to be mad at Him and tell Him so. As soon as I tell Him what I am feeling towards Him, I then beg and plead for His forgiveness. I feel like we were so blessed and had it all! Then it all changed on April 10. For the first time I think of cancer as the devils disease -- it's silent killer and it's a curse! I am SO mad that this has happened to my son! This was the year Daryl wanted to accept a position with Southwest, start planning for us to relocate "home" to Phoenix, AZ. No! It's like someone is telling him to stay with the military, stay in WA, stay away from family (ok, maybe that could be true, JUST KIDDING - come on, this is pretty heavy and I need to lighten it up a bit) but he really feels the curse and now it's cancer! Come on, what's next?!!!

We had this pretty well behaved child and now he's NOT the same boy we had in our house three weeks ago. Since all the tests and chemo started, Tommy has gotten so sassy and lippy -- and he'll have the biggest throw down tantrums. Tomorrow we go tho Tommy's first follow up since chemo, so check back again soon to read about he updates. Take care <><